"Silent Cry" an Original Poem by Oladunni Adedapo

Indira Nzerue

Silent Cry — Oladunni Adedapo
12:45 was written on the clock
As I sat there I began trying to gather my thoughts
That were interrupted by an occasional tick tock
The topic of you was not something that came so easy
So where do I start?
Our relationship started off as a fairytale
Except what do you call a fairytale with a horrible ending?
One that leaves the audience bitter and empty?
See, I became so accustomed to verbal abuse and lies
Which ended up turning physical over time
Even though I kept asking myself the question why?
You beat me senseless until I was bloody and blue
And came back with a sorry story topping it off with “I love you”
And watching my mother and father
I thought in real love this is what you gotta go through
The arguing and screaming
Broken dishes and heavy breathing
From “I hate you” and “I’m leaving”
To “I need you” and “Babe I’m really pleading”
And I swore last time would be the last time
But how am I supposed to leave him?
Every time I pack bags he utters the same empty threat
“I’ll kill myself if you leave me”
God I love this man but is this the life you called me to be living?
Posting pictures on instagram playing happy home
Comments saying “relationship goals”
But they don’t really know
Friends saying I’m so lucky
Yet I’m covering bruises by the dozen
It’s been three years and our toxic relationship seems to be on loop
Maybe if I thug it out I’ll finally uncover his dirty truth
There has to be more to him than this angry look
Today is our fourth anniversary and I wish I knew it’d be our last
He beat me til the breaths I took were finally my last
Now I’m six feet under and wishing I could go back
Now he in a prison yard crying out to God asking “why’d I do that”
He’s pleading on his knees wishing I would come back
I guess this is for the better but I want my life back
5-7 in a cell while I’m gone forever
He stuck with the thought of what if I never