“A Letter to my Future Son” an Original Poem by Abigail Ndikum

Indira Nzerue

Abigail Ndikum—
A Letter to my Future Son
I love you
As you grow into a man, I want you to know that I love you.
I’m so sorry for bringing you into this God-forsaken world.
I guess it was rather selfish,
Me thinking that my love would
Protect you from the hate.
Because the same way that I love you,
People are gonna hate you.
They’re gonna hate your swag,
The way that you walk, talk, even breathe –
Inhaling more knowledge than oxygen
And exhaling your wisdom into the world.
They’re gonna hate that –
A black man knowing something, cause all they’re gonna see is that
Nappy hair,
Fat nose,
Thick lips
And dark skin
And categorize you.
You will grow up and the world will give you toy cars and Transformers
And tell you that your color is blue and definitely not pink or yellow
But yellow is such a beautiful color on you
When you start to cry they’ll tell you to shut up
Cause you can’t cry in front of the ladies
They’ll give you the mold of a real black man and tell you to
Try and fit in.
But they failed to realize that your shoulders are not that broad,
Your legs are a little short,
And that your feet and hands are not that large.
Nevertheless, you are going to try to fit in,
‘Cause you see all the other black boys around you trying
To fit into the molds full of poison
Replacing your black boy joy with the laced drug of masculinity.
Soon thoughts will creep in
Telling you that you’re
Dumb,
Weak,
Useless.
You’re no man, so man up.
All of their hate will consume you
And tell you that you gotta have the biggest dick on the block,
Along with best body and clearest face
Cause that, my son,
Will attract all the shawties
Making you
‘The Man’
I’m sorry
For already categorizing you.
I see you as my son
But the world will see you with your gold chain and black hoodie
And mistake you for a murderer
They’ll lift up their guns and aim for the head
Cause they know a shot to the heart is not enough to kill
And when they miss, they’ll pass you the blunt of death
And wait for you to blow your future away
My son,
I pray for you
Cause the world will try to swallow you whole like a nasty pill
Surrounding you in nothing but emptiness.
They’ll put you in mental jail
Full with criminals such as
Anxiety,
Depression,
And Suicidal thoughts
I’m telling you these things because I love you and I want you to know the truth
But in the end
It’s your choice to man up.