“A Letter To My Past Self” An Original Poem by Abigail Ndikum

Indira Nzerue

Abigail Ndikum—                                  A Letter to my Past Self
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry for those nights you stayed up listening to yelling,
I’m sorry that you had to get out of bed
Tiptoe down the stairs
And ask them to quiet down
I’m sorry for the tears you cried
When they didn’t listen
And you felt that everything was falling apart
I’m sorry that you felt ugly
I’m sorry that little girl asked you,
“Why is your face so dirty?”
When she was just talking about your skin
I’m sorry that you thought about marrying a white/light man
so that your baby wouldn’t be as dark
And really sorry when you realized you were too dark to be liked
I’m sorry you felt like you had to remove that mole
How that mole made you feel even more ugly
How everyone pointed it out,
“You have something on your face,”
I’m sorry that you felt like you always had to give
Your time,
Your help,
Your passion,
Your empathy.
I’m sorry you didn’t get much in return
I’m sorry you suffered,
But like a dove,
You shall rise.