Real Life

Heidy Cruz

 I can say that I been dealing with this since middle school. 7th grade I missed so many days of school that I am surprised that I even passed honestly. It was so hard because nobody understood what it was that was going on because I did not want to tell anybody. They would all say “you never come to school” and honestly it’s just like well you never know what goes on in someone’s life. I’ve always told my parents that I wanted to get home schooled because it would be easier but it was hard because the doctors thought that I would get better and my parents never really looked into it. Summer of 2017 is when I really got sick. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I did not eat for a whole week, my fever was very high and I was just drained out physically. Around this time I was not in school so I was not really stressing out about it. I was diagnosed with a kidney infection. Some type of unidentified bacteria was inside of my body which caused me to get so sick. It was so close to getting into ny blood to where I could have got really sick. I had to get my right kidney remove but first they needed to drained out the puss so they placed a nephrostomy tube in my kidney. This honestly had to be the worst part… My surgery to get my kidney removed was not until September 14 of 2017 and the bag was placed in July so I had to have the bad in for 2 months. I couldn’t even take a normal shower I had to bird bathe. 2 months pass by and this is where school starts September 5,2017. I did not want to go to school because I was so embarrassed to walk around with a bag and it was pretty big. My aunt got me a purse to hide it although I just felt like everybody would notice. It was so hard but I was just so ready to be over with it since my surgery date was coming up. I went to school like it was nothing until September 12,2017. September 13,2017 I had to go to the hospital because they needed to prepare me for my surgery. I was so anxious about it once the day came, all I could do was pray and pray and pray. I was not scared but because my family all called me and told me everything will be fine. Surgery goes by and I have been in the hospital for a couple of days now and the doctors tell me I will be out of school for a month. So I am just so worried because now I won’t be learning nothing and scared that I might fail. My brother went to Flowers last year so he was the one who was picking up my work for me. I can say that after this surgery it was the most depressing point of my life. Dealing with school and my health caused me to go into depression. I honestly just felt like everything and everyone was against me. I just wanted to give up. Nobody knew what I was feeling. I ended up going back to school in October. Being back in school did not really help because I still had problems so I was in and out the hospital all the times. One day I had my first anxiety attack in school. This was a feeling that I had never wanted to feel ever again. I never had one so at the moment I was scared and was shaking and felt like the walls were closing on me. This was not the last one. After this one I started to get them a lot. This caused me to fail in school. I failed my english class because of my health and me as a human with feelings. I felt like I had so much on my back. I have a really supportive family but I was just scared to open up to them and let then know what was wrong. First time me ever opening up was to my older brother. I called him over the phone and he came over so quick and made me feel better. I finally opened up to everyone else and they helped me in every way possible. I started to go to tutoring every Friday and started to get myself back on track. Although it was too late for me to get my points up to pass english my parents very supportive to pay for summer school to get my credits only because my grades are never bad. So honestly if your somebody dealing with school and an illness don’t give in because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.