Everyday I feel like I’m just waking up and moving to the next day,

I get to school and I feel the same nervousness I get when I walk down Main Street,

The long stares..

The same joy when I see one of my friends at breakfast,

The same fake smile I give in the morning to keep myself from crying,

Forcing myself to have a good day…

Holding back dry tears…

No I’m not depressed,

I’m not sad at one specific thing just things that build up you know?

So much pain that I put up with,

I just put it in some spot in my head,

So it doesn’t allow me to take control of me,

But eventually I can only put up with so much,

And now I have no place to put such things,

Now they show on my face,

They show in my actions,

They show in my dry red eyes,

It’s this overwhelming feeling I can’t just put away,

I’m getting too good at hiding my pain from people,

My friends say it’s a flex,

But it feels like a safe thing for me,

If I force myself to be happy,

I’ll have a good day..

If I don’t cry in front of people,

Everyone won’t think of me as anything but that funny smiley person.

*I don’t know the point of this poem..

I just wanted to vent somewhere other than my head.